Confessions of a Not-So-Teenage Drama Queen

I see a bad habbit forming here... again, it's been almost a month since I've written! I have to blame it on still being "out of my element"...

I feel like God is trying to do something in me. I don't know what it is, but I'm not myself. I haven't been for some time. It's like I'm in a weird confused rut and yet, it feels like something huge is about to happen. I really feel the Holy Spirit overwhelming me with joy at times and then feel a little bummed when I have to face real life again. I have a hard time adjusting back and forth between my intense spiritual emotions and my daily routine. I know it's not realistic, but in my mind, the two shouldn't coexist. But I supposed if I stayed in the "emo" stage like I would prefer, I would never get anything accomplished because it's not practical. I would just be daydreaming....

If I haven't said it before, I am an extremely passionate & sensitive person. When I tell people that, they are sometimes surprised. Outwardly, I apparently seem to be laid back. Well, I think people know I'm often dramatic, but I don't think they realize the extent of the intense emotions within ;)

I wish I had a more fulfilling job. You know, one that made a difference. That way, maybe it wouldn't be so hard to adjust between really meaningful stuff and my job - which is entirely meaningless. Well, maybe not entirely - I have met some great friends and I know there is a reason I am at this job. I just wish I could feel like I was making more of a difference. An eternal difference. Yesterday at the Easter service, Pastor Miles said that God wants to give us an uncommon, extraordinary, abundant, excellent life. That's what I want. That's what I'm longing for. I believe He has that in store for me. Must....be....patient.

Switching subjects - stay with me now. So I had a really great birthday a couple weeks back. Actually, on my birthday I had the flu. Not just any flu: a gut-rocking, death-defying, mass-exodus-of-everything-in-my-body flu. It was HORRIBLE. I haven't been that sick in a long long time. Maybe ever. Poor Jon and my friend Elena had to cancel a surprise bday thing that they planned for me :( But I was feeling a lot better by Saturday (the day after my bday) so we went through with our Temecula wine-tasting plans. We went with our small group to this bed and breakfast called "The Castle" and it was so much fun! It actually looked like a castle and all of the rooms were themed different cultures/eras. Jon & I had the "midieval room". I will try to attach a picture soon. It was gorgeous weather for wine tasting and everything went very smoothly. It was an awesome relaxing time after being sick. I have amazing friends.

Hawaii is only 3 weeks and 2 days away!! I am soooo looking forward to it! We both need a break from work and life. It is sure to be fabulous.

Last night I had a particularly fun time hanging out by myself. I'm not really an "alone time" needing person, but Jon does security at the Rock Sunday nights so I've had them to myself. To my surprise, I'm really starting to like it. Last night I did a puzzle, watched recorded reruns of Malcolm in the Middle and had a glass of wine. It sounds super lame but it was nice. I might have to kick him out more often ;)

There are many more random thoughts where all of these came from but I need to get some work done... more later. Happy Monday!